Men!

So I've come to the conclusion I cannot just leave this topic be anymore, all this bullshit running threw my head is really starting to annoy me. So the topic is men... yes that's right men, not a man but men. 

Now I'm pretty sure that I have a problem but I'm also sure that it derived from my childhood years. It's quite simple actually.... I like men, they make me happy. Now I'm not just talking any man can walk up and say hey and we're best friends. No... they need to be a country boy. As of lately I feel like my goal right now is to befriend as many country boy's as possible. I'm not even sure why.... I have a boyfriend, I love him and we are great together.... Sometimes. I think really all I am looking for right now is to have that amazing summer.... Like I did a few years ago. 

The summer when I was 20 was the best summer of my life hand's down. No my boyfriend did not play a huge part in that summer. Believe it or not my ex did. He is 43! yes I said 43. When I was 20 he had just turned 41. We were a great match, we always had fun together and we were always doing something different; and his jeep oh how I would have done anything to ride around in it. The 4th of July with him was magical... I don't think any other man will ever compare to that 4th of July. Just the two of us up on Hawk mountain, in his jeep, with the top off.... just enjoying each other's company and watching the sun set before the fireworks began. It was Beautiful. This is also the man who picked out my first tattoo and to this day I still love it. Tough I do want to get it touched up. We started hanging out before my 20th birthday and he definitely gave me a birthday I will never forget. I'm not going to lie seeing him every day and not being with him is a little hard. He's still so awesome! I bet you are wondering why I see him every day.... well the answer is simple. We work at the same place. Yes that make's things kind of tough. He is still trying to get me back and I'm afraid he's slowly reeling me back in. No you're probably confused. I act as if I want him back and he does want me back. Well I am loyal, I have a boyfriend and I don't like to screw with relationship's I'm in. I left him for my current boyfriend because thing's were just getting messy. I was never really around anymore and I'm not sure he was ready for a relationship. He sure seems like he is no though.

So saying all that it's kinda a funny story how I got to be with my current boyfriend. I was still with my ex when we started hanging out.... The story I tell everyone is he show'd up one day and never left but that is far from what happened. I was renting from his father and he came to get the rest of the stuff out of the trailer that I was renting.... Be brought a JEEP.... yes a jeep to pick up his things.... now jeep's don't have much room in case you don't know that. My ex showed up and it was just plain awkward! We started texting and flirting a bit then he started coming over after he got out of work and hanging out even if it was only for a few minutes. It was crazy how bad he wanted me.... and I liked it. After the last time my ex ditched me I decided I had enough and broke it off. Not that it was anything according to the ex. My current boyfriend has lived with me since the day we started dating... I know that's strange and looking back I wish we had started dating before living together. But we are still together, things are a bit rocky right now but I'm sure they will work themselves out. Though I decided I want to get married one day and he said there is no way in hell he is ever getting married which just push's me away.

Lately I've been texting some other country boys..... (my boyfriend is far from a country boy) I feel like the conversations are getting a little flirty and I'm not sure where this is headed. I'm so lost in my own world I'm not sure I'm acknowledging reality half the time..... well that's all for now.