Well I suppose It's about time I figure out what I want right now. Not the long haul but right now..... Thing's with the boyfriend don't seem to be making any headway one way or another. It's like we are dead locked in the land of nothing. I know this is wrong, I have been here before and it never turns out good. There is just so much I want to do, It as if I will never get to do any of it if I stay at this point in life. If we are talking long run that still wouldn't work out in either of our favors. I think I want a child some day, and want to get married but I was told that there is no way in hell he is ever getting married or having a child. I'm just so lost on what to do, and it's not like anyone will steer me in the right direction unless they get something out of it.
I'm not sure my relationship is going to last much longer, I think It's pretty much over. We just need to admit it to one another. I have a mystery man I've been talking to.... saying any more than that would give it all away. He's a great friend, and is actually grown up; he does not act like a child or expect that someone will pay all his bills for him. I hope that I can hang out with him soon outside of where we know each other from. I feel so happy when ever I'm texting him or when ever I do get the chance to see him.
I suppose I am going to let this weekend play out, see how things go and go from there. I know if anything happens between my boyfriend and I; I will be upset but I need to start thinking for me again. I'm tired of trying to make sure he has all he wants, and is happy and not getting the same in return.